Hope everyone is well, had a nice summer and enjoyed the heat we have all experienced this year. As mentioned in my previous post, in part 2 I would like to talk about introducing a new person into your life and how it can be quite challenging for some people to do so.
In my experience talking to clients, and generally people I know who seem to want to be in a relationship, many do struggle.
You may have been in a relationship before, opened your heart and soul but eventually, for whatever reason, it has not worked out, or worst of all, you may have been betrayed in one way or another, or cheated on. You may think how on earth am I meant to trust again and be open?! You might also have created some habits which you think the other person would not be accepting of or you may not like the habits they have. I know it may be minor to some people but to others little things absolutely matter and can be make or break a relationship.
You may be going through different thoughts and scenarios in your head, but it can cloud your mind and judgement when meeting a new person. You might even be avoiding meeting new people and giving them a chance. Some people do that and live in some fantasy world that some day they will miraculously bump into the destined “prince charming / princess”. I am all for dreaming but life does not always turn out how we envisioned it, years go by, we get older and suddenly realise you have found yourself stuck, standing still for years. And that is okay also, perhaps part of your experience until you make some shifts in your psychology and say “no more!” And sometimes that is all you need to discover your lightbulb moment of realisation. It does not matter how old you are, your background, education or career. Sometimes that is all it takes. Your moment of truth and decision making to change you and your destiny.
I absolutely understand where you are coming from, the reasons behind, what is holding you back because I have been through it myself.
Looking back over the last couple of years and how crazy busy and life changing this has been, I often can’t believe it is even possible, but it obviously is if you put your mind to it and stay on course, your course, your path and not anyone else’s.
My now husband and I have been through a lot in the last couple of years. We got engaged, got married abroad (massive challenge during coronavirus pandemic), started life coaching, got pregnant, went on honeymoon, sold and bought a lovely family home where we have been living for over a month now. It was part of our journey and we are very happy with where we are now, expecting a baby girl pretty soon with all the new challenges and, of course, happy moments new parenting will bring.
In the past I’ve had to make decisions to break up. Which were not easy. Such steps are uncomfortable and bring uncertainty, but starting from zero was better for me because I knew what I stood for, deserved and chose not stay with someone because it was convenient.
I am saying all this because I understand how hard it can be to start again or to end something you are not very happy with but sort of comfortable. Success is not a straight line up, it is full of complications, ups and downs, going backwards and forwards, but as long as you know your core values, have the right focus and don’t stay too much in your head, take uncomfortable action, you would be just fine.
Is there a belief you might need to let go of? Is there something you need to open up about? What is no longer serving you or perhaps whom?
First things first – Clarity. Be clear on what you want and take a small action daily towards it. You might even realise you want to be single and that’s great as long as you are truly happy and not trying to mask it!
If you would like to discuss your situation and further steps to take on how to introduce a new person into your life, how to heal past wounds and move forward, I’d be more than happy to help. Get in touch via email oxana@headandheartmatters.com
I appreciate everyone’s support who has subscribed to my site, posts, social media, until next time – keep calm, take action and follow your heart & truth!
HEAD & HEART MATTERS 